Neural Repair Porridge

Ingredients:

  • Black rice (preferred) or crushed white rice, 1 cup washed
  • Dry mung beans, 1 cup soaked overnight
  • Black sesame seeds, 1/8 cup
  • Chia seeds, 1/8 cup
  • Goji berries ¼ cup
  • 2″ ginger, sliced thinly
  • 1 carrot, sliced thinly
  • Coconut milk, ½ cup
  • 5 cups of water
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • 1 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of cardamom

Toppings:

  • Almonds, pecans, walnuts – preferably whole and toasted (or sprouted)
  • Blueberries, raspberries, marionberries, blackberries, strawberries
  • Herbal powder

Instructions:

Soak the dry mung beans for five to six hours, preferably overnight. Discard the water.

Combine the mung beans, black sesame seeds, chia seeds, goji berries, sliced ginger, sliced carrot, and coconut milk with five cups of water in a big pot and bring to a boil. Add the sea salt, turmeric, cinnamon, and cardamom, and let it simmer with the lid off for an hour to an hour and a half. This should reduce the water to about three cups, and allow the rice and mung beans to completely liquefy. The more mushy the consistency the better. This can take quite some time, so if you have a pressure cooker this may be easier to use.

At about fifteen minutes from the end, add the toppings so they warm up and add their flavor to the entire porridge. Now also take the herbal powder. It’s up to you whether you’d like to mix it into the individual bowl of porridge or add it to hot water for tea. It should taste relatively okay.

This porridge can easily be reheated for two days if kept in the fridge. Just add a little water or coconut milk in order to make the consistency more runny. A spoon should NOT be able to stand up in the porridge.

Credit to Beth Griffing, LAc, for sharing this recipe with me!

Personal Responsibility

By Austin B. Hahn

In my experience, when you don’t take control of your own life, one of the following happens:

1) People try to take control for you, and then you get angry because your life is at the mercy of others’ whims.

or

2) Your survival is put in jeopardy, so you’re forced to take care of yourself while trying to catch up with all those years when you could’ve been learning how to take personal responsibility.

Impermanence

By Austin B. Hahn

Disclaimer: this is a fictional story.

(Someone knocks on the door. A young woman named Julia answers it.)

Julia: Greg?

(Greg, frustrated, barges in through the doorway past Julia.)

Greg: I’m done with this Julia.

Julia: What’s the matter?

(Greg pauses for a moment and becomes teary-eyed.)

Greg: I thought about what you said yesterday when we were on the docks. Look, Julia, I know you are going to die of cancer, but you see, I still want to marry you.

(Julia begins to cry.)

Julia: Damn it, Greg! Why did you have to do this to me!?

Greg: Do what, Julia?

Julia: Come into my life, and be this amazing person, and as soon as I get diagnosed with cancer, you want to marry me?

(Greg starts crying.)

Greg: I can’t waste another day knowing that the love of my life is just down the street from me, and I could be married to her. I have been waiting for someone like you my entire life!

Julia: Yeah but I can’t even give you kids! Don’t you want that!? Do you want to wake up one day to a pregnant wife lying dead next to you in bed!?

(Julia is bawling.)

Greg: Of course I would want kids with you! Just because we can’t have a baby doesn’t mean that we can’t be together. No matter how long or short.

(Julia drops to the floor, sobbing. She then looks up at Greg.)

Julia: The doctor said I only have two months left to live.

(Greg walks towards Julia and kneels down to her level.)

Greg: Then we’ll get married. I’ll give you a beautiful wedding and take you to places around the globe with me.

(Greg holds her hand with a promising smile.)

(On May 6th, 1974, Greg and Julia Andrews married outside of the Sistine Chapel. They experienced everything together, from African skies to Italian cuisine, and visited the three cities Julia wanted to see in her life: Paris, Prague, and Rome. One day, as Julia held on to the back of Greg while riding on an elephant in South Africa, she suddenly fell ill. She was rushed to a hospital. Despite receiving medical care, her health became worse each passing hour. In the waiting room, Greg was informed by a doctor that she would not make it. He spent his final moment with Julia sitting next to her while holding her right hand as she lay lifeless on the bed.)

Julia: Thank you for making this a wonderful closing chapter to my life.

Greg: You’re welcome, and I love you.

(Julia gazes into Greg’s eyes.)

Julia: I love you too.

(Julia Andrews was pronounced dead at 11:24 p.m. on July 8th, 1974. Julia’s body was cremated. Her ashes were sprinkled into the Mediterranean Sea, and, back home, along the coast of Los Angeles. Two weeks later, in L.A. on a hot summer day, as Greg sprinkled her remains along the shore, he stopped and looked out into the ocean. He pondered for a minute or two. He wondered why his wife had to be taken away from him so soon. While reflecting upon his loss, he discovered something profound. He knew in his heart that the joy of being married to her, regardless of how short, outweighed the pain of her death. From that moment on, Greg realized he could either live the rest of his life cherishing what has been given to him, or he could dwell on what has been taken away from him.)

I’m Moving On

By Austin B. Hahn

I can’t spend the rest of my life thinking about where you’ve gone. I have to move on. I will no longer wonder if you have become all that you have wanted to be. I have to focus on my life now. Although the pain of your metaphoric demise has left a mark on my heart, I must live the life that awaits me as I am only left with remnants of a distant past. I’m not denying that you were a part of my life; I’m releasing you from my tenacious memory.

All my love,

Austin

Racism

By Austin B. Hahn

Question: do you think racism will always be around?

I don’t know if there will always be racism. What I can say is that I know there’s racism today, which is too bad because what functionality does racism serve? The only thing it does is prevent someone from achieving their goals. I hear some people say, “Your struggle is a part of your story.” As far as I’m concerned, no one I know who has experienced racism is getting paid to write a book. None of their stories will hit the bookshelves to teach anyone about racial inequality that persists in the world. All they will ever be are untold tales of suffering, rendering them useless.

Unless you have personally experienced discrimination, shut the fuck up and quit trying to push the issue of racism aside by telling someone, “You’ll have an interesting story to tell one day.” No one wants to write a manuscript for The Help 2. Besides, human lives are not tragedies waiting to be told. They’re opportunities to create something wonderful that are marked by a short duration of earthly existence. In time, I hope racism becomes less of an issue than what it is today. Bigotry, like herpes, just ends up costing us.

July 18th, 2015

By Austin B. Hahn

Dear Journal:

Fuck the gym! I decided to skip it and have sweets for dinner. Marie Antoinette once said, “Let them eat cake,” so I did. Besides, why am I staying in shape . . . so I can get good dick? Ha! I’m afraid that’s about as scarce as a good politician in this country. I’m so fuckin’ tired of looking good and some tired-ass-old bozo messages me on Grindr. Sometimes I don’t understand men. They want a hot piece of ass, but some of them don’t even have a good dick, so they try to compensate for it by driving a big truck.

The ones who really piss me off are the hypocrites. They’re the ones who want someone good-looking, but they themselves look like shit. When some guys message me, I just want to reply, “Have you ever thought about asking yourself this: would you fuck you? If the answer is no, then please do not send me a message, or come back to me after you’ve been consistently going to the gym three to four times a week for about a month and a half.”

This one goes to any woman who is reading this right now: raise your sexpectations! Do not let Tubby McTubbertin be your bare minimum standard of what a man should look like to you. Men are not supposed to have phantom babies. Ladies, you shave your legs, wear makeup, wax your pussies, and you don’t complain. The least he can do is go to the fuckin’ gym, and if he has money, then he can afford to fix himself up.

Anyway, I’m not done complaining.

I was recently at a wedding, which was awful to say the least. No one there was polite enough to ask, “Hey, Austin, so tell me your story about how you fingered someone in a taxi cab?” so, while I was there, I never once said, “Gee, thank you for asking.” My conversations didn’t expand beyond the dull question, “How are you?” which I can’t stand, along with several other phrases:

“I’m (nationality). I have a hot temper.”

Why do some people use their ancestry or nationality as an excuse to justify their bitchy behavior? “Oh I’m Irish,” or, “I’m Italian,” or, “I’m Cuban, and when the Cuban gets angry . . .” Hey guess what? I’m a human being, and I don’t give a fuck.

“Bless you.”

How come some people can say to a complete stranger, “Bless you,” but they can’t stick up for someone they don’t know who’s being physically attacked? This colloquialism exposes how insincere the English language is. Bless me? For what? Because I sneezed? It doesn’t make sense. In Spanish they say, “salud,” which, directly translated, means “health.” That makes sense. You’re sneezing. Maybe you have a cold. Maybe you’re falling ill. Who knows? The point is it makes more sense. I’m amazed that people can tell me, “Bless you,” for doing something as frivolous as sneezing, but when I volunteer at a foodbank, I’ll be lucky if anyone even says, “Bye and thanks for your time.”

“Sorry.”

This word has probably been used more than condoms. “Sorry” has become a social norm to use in everyday conversation in U.S. American culture, but no one means it! “Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Bitch, what are you sorry for? There’s even a game called “Sorry!” It’s ridiculous. People in the United States apologize for slamming the door, interrupting someone during a phone conversation, farting in public, belching at the dinner table, and the list goes on. The proper response, in these contexts, would be, “Excuse me.” On the contrary, if they were to get into a dispute with someone, the majority of them would be reluctant to apologize and say, “I was wrong,” because their egos are more important to them. This commonly, overused word also shows how superficial the English language is.

“Live every day as if it were your last.”

I cannot begin to recall how many divorced bitches I have seen who have an expression, such as this one, hanging up on a wall somewhere in their home. I can find the same quote on multiple Facebook and Instagram pages, “Live, Laugh, Love”, for instance, which I find funny because it’s usually posted by people who don’t do any of those things in actual life. What’s more, if everyone were to live each day as if it were their last, the world would be crazy. Would you want to see me twerking my fat ass on top of a table at McDonald’s or getting fucked by a sexy mailman in public? Don’t you tell me you would! Unless you’re a voyeuristic whore, you wouldn’t like to see what I do on casual Friday.

“Have a good one.”

What am I supposed to have that’s good??? A blowjob? A drink? A vacation? Be more specific. If you want to wish me a good day, a nice weekend, or a wonderful vacation, then say so.

“I’m good.”

When I ask someone, “How are you?” I want to know how that person is feeling. Being vague by saying, “I’m good,” tells me absolutely nothing. What is “good” to you? For some, “good” means they’re feeling happy while for others it means they’re as high as the Eiffel Tower. I understand there are certain social situations that require discretion, but if I’m asking how you’re doing, it’s because you’re a friend or a family member, and I care. I don’t ask people I don’t know how they’re feeling, which brings me to my final thoughts . . .

I’m not a car salesman or a pretentious asshole . . . well, at least I try not to be. Since I’m not getting paid to kiss anyone’s ass, I’m not going to pretend to be interested in somebody for the sake of small talk. I’m a passionate person, and I don’t appreciate false statements of well-being. With the exception of detached professionalism and avoiding disclosure in the business world, don’t come to me with your bullshit asking, “How are you?” when you don’t care. It’s annoying, and people rarely like to feel as if they’re talking to a robot. Connect with people by asking something genuine instead, and open yourself up.

We only scratch the surface in artificial conversations. When we share ourselves and we’re receptive to others through listening using non-judgmental body language, we create opportunities to form relationships with people we might’ve been looking for our whole lives. You could be talking with the love of your life, your best friend, your business partner who helps launch your career, or you might learn something from someone you wished you would’ve learned years ago. Take risks in communication. Approach someone with more depth than just, “Hi. How are you?” and you will discover how the power of your everyday communication affects your life.

Hooray for Love!

By Austin B. Hahn

(Originally written on 6/26/15.)

Dahlings!!! I have to write about this historic moment.

I am so happy that gay marriage has finally been legalized nationwide. Now I can be a gold digger.

No bitches.

Relax.

I’m kidding.

Hahahaha … yeah I think I’m pretty funny. Anyway–

I just wanted to say that I am so happy that, from now on, no child in the United States of America will ever grow up thinking that the validity of their love for another human being will be questioned. I am grateful to be alive during this remarkable period of ongoing social change in the world. What a treat. Here’s to transformation!

Thank God for Death!

By Austin B. Hahn

Have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted to kill them or wished they were dead? Well you don’t have to. Time will get them for you. As each year goes by, they get closer to Death. You don’t have to do anything. They get older each minute.

Sick of your wife nagging you on Christmas Day to spend time with your in-laws? No problem. Death can take her away. Wanting revenge after someone wronged you? Don’t sweat it. Death will arrive at their doorstep one day. Tired of watching your loved one suffer through chemotherapy? No worries. Death will take care of them. Medicine can treat pain, but Death has the ultimate power to liberate us from our bodies and free us from any chronic illness.

We as human beings should be thankful for all aspects of the life cycle, including Death. If it wasn’t for Death, life as we know it would become stale. The conditions that we were born into, such as our ethnicity, genes, national origin, and who our parents and siblings are, would forever remain the same.

Some perceive the loss of a loved one as a tragedy. However, I believe that a life lived, no matter how short, is an accomplishment. Living takes courage, and there’s no guarantee that our lives will reach fulfillment; we’re only assured that Death awaits us. Like Karma, as an inevitable force of nature, Death does not have a deadline. Death is uncertain. We have to love our family and friends today and maintain enough detachment so we’re not taken by surprise if they are gone tomorrow. The loss of a loved one is not a time to mourn, but a time to celebrate their life. Since no one lives eternally, we must not forget the importance of rejoicing in the moments we shared with them and that shedding tears upon their passing is healthy, but crying a river will not bring them back.

We seem to have little understanding of a person’s worth when they’re alive. We commodify what they owned in life, marvel at their accomplishments, and reminisce about the pleasant times, but we rarely tell them all we want to say when they’re alive, so we end up writing a eulogy they’ll never hear. We’ll start to miss their quirks that once annoyed us. We’ll think of them when we pass by their favorite restaurant. We’ll play a song that matches the emotions in our heart when we think about them. We’ll even sometimes pretend they’re still alive after watching a video of them, but they’re gone . . .

We may never know what more they could have done with their life, but one thing is certain: because of Death, they can’t be hurt anymore. There’s no more suffering. There’s no more struggle. There’s no more pain. Everything is quiet.

All we can do now is keep some mementos of this person for memories.

Acupuncturists’ Treatment Methods

Source: Acupuncture in a Nutshell. Acupuncture Media Works, 2012. Print.

Acupressure/Tuina: A massage technique that stimulates the meridians, facilitating the flow of Qi.

Acupuncture: Tiny, disposable, sterile needles placed gently into specific acupuncture points.

Cupping: Using glass or bamboo cups to create a vacuum in order to increase warmth and circulation.

Electro-acupuncture: Acupuncture points are stimulated using a safe and gentle electrical current.

Gua Sha: A gentle scraping of the skin surface using a Gua Sha tool to increase circulation of Qi and blood.

Herbs: Chinese herbal medicine draws from a pharmacopoeia of thousands of herbs for specific conditions.

Moxibustion: The dried leaf of mugwort is rolled into a stick or placed on the end of needles, then burned as a warming therapy during treatment.

Oriental nutrition: Specific foods used to strengthen, rebuild and balance the body.

Qi Gong: Specific movements and breathing exercises used to improve health and vitality.

Tai Chi: Movement exercises that help develop harmony and balance, and promote maximum health.