February 27th, 2015

By Austin B. Hahn

Dear Journal:

My grandmother told me that she heard on the news that Portland has one of the highest rates of syphilis among men. I feel enlightened! I am pro-whore just as I am pro-gay marriage. Gays should be able to get married, and whores should be able to get custody of their STDs. I love democracy. Freedom and equality for everyone!

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