By Austin B. Hahn
I’ve decided that when I retire, I want to be a phone sex operator. How great would that be? Just imagine all the conversations you could have with a seventy-five-year-old man on the other line.
*The phone rings.
27-year-old guy who can’t get laid: Hey there … how’s a goin’?
Me: Pretty good. Me teeth just fell out of my mouth.
*The phone rings again.
30-year-old Virgin Mary calls.
Excuse me … what’s the best part about sex when you get older?
Me: No teeth. Well … at least that’s what my husband tells me.
*The phone rings once more.
38-year-old nymphomaniac: Hey stud … what’s getting you hot?
Me: Well, for starters … the tightness of my pantyhose is definitely giving me a heat rash!
Me: Okay. That’s all for today. Time to take a nap.