Journal Entry #4

By Austin B. Hahn

Background story: On the show Fashion Police, Joan Rivers asked several guests, including Adam Lambert, what each of them would do if they could spend a day with her. I have been unable to find the clip on YouTube, but here is what I would do if I could spend a day with the Legendary comedian.*

Joan, if you were still alive, I would take you vitamin shopping because, you know, you can never have too many calcium supplements. Then I would take you to the cemetery where you could introduce me to your family. Next, I would resurrect your friends back from the dead and invite them over to play bunco with us at your house. Finally, we would watch reruns of the Golden Girls, and I would leave your house by seven o’clock so you could go to bed.

*Yes bitches. That “L” deserves to be capitalized.


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