Jealousy

By Austin B. Hahn

You never accomplished much of anything

Your lack of achievements are the result of you boasting about your so-called “glory” days of yesteryear

Daddy didn’t love you enough

Mommy didn’t appraise you enough

You were too dumb to be appreciative of what you did have anyway

You have a reputation for being as bitter as the apple cider you drank when you were prom queen

The stench of your nasty personality can be smelled further away than that football you threw at the championship game

Now you’re stuck making forty thousand dollars a year trying to support your children who you can’t stand because they robbed you of the life that you wanted to live

Meanwhile, you glare at the the TV screen, sitting on your ass as you eat, continuing to get fatter

You chug along through the daily grind, but you don’t care to experience much life outside of your mundane routine

As soon as you hear about someone else’s success, you’re quick to attribute it to an unscrupulous act

You would rather bring someone down than celebrate them

Don’t come shitting on my parade

Just because my life is well now, doesn’t mean it’s been a fairy tale

Even then, suffering is not a prerequisite for permission to live a good life

Because of bitches like you, I have to be vigilant

Like a parent watching their kid, I have to watch over my success to make sure that you don’t sabotage it

You’ve exhausted the time of your life by trying to take away the years of others

Funny how you look back, and you realize you’ve left nothing behind

No mark of yours to leave on the world

All you’ll ever be is forgotten

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Tell No One

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Commentary By Austin B. Hahn

If you are reading this, I want you to know this is true. I’m not saying this to embitter you; I’m telling you this because I care. Some people can be jealous assholes, and others are just afraid of experiencing life, so they’ll think you should be too and try to keep you in a bubble. I’ve had one plan sabotaged right after the other because I told somebody about it. Don’t let that be you. Learn from my experience. People don’t need to know everything about your life.

What is up with People’s Bullshit?

By Austin B. Hahn

Fretting over the minutiae of life isn’t going to make your existence any easier. Being pissed over that parking space that someone took five seconds sooner than you isn’t going to make your life any harder. Complaining about your children won’t make them grow up faster, and releasing expectations won’t make them grow up any slower. Maybe you’ve been temporarily inconvenienced, but you’ll live.

Thinking that your words will change me, out of everything I will hear in a world with more than seven billion people, is about as foolish as a grain of sand anticipating that I will notice it. Maybe you’re too damn busy being ineffective in the world. You can shoot down a positive comment someone made about another, but if a homeless person were to ask you for that box of takeout that you’re just going to leave in your fridge until it’s stale, you’d make a scowl and tell them to fuck off.

When you’re in a room with people of a different culture or race, you’re the first person to point out that you’re the minority. Are you that much of an insecure bigot that you need to be surrounded by others who are exactly like you in order to feel that your existence has been validated? Life must be painful for you.

I’m really not that sorry to hear that your life is “difficult.” You’re upset by minor errors such as the curtains that you ordered turning out fuchsia instead of orange. You spend copious amounts of energy and time giving your opinions about others like they’re going out of style. You’re bothered by human variation, and when everything in your life is going right, you still find something to bitch about because nothing will ever be enough for you.

Instead of being irritated when the wind blows in your face, smile. Think of this as Mother Nature’s comical way of saying you need to get laid, so she figured she’d “blow” you. 😅

Anger

By Austin B. Hahn

You know what annoys the fuck out of me? When people say, “Don’t be angry,” or, “Express your anger through a creative outlet or sports.” Fuck no people! If I’m angry with someone because they’re being a complete asshole, or this person is going to physically harm me, you bet that I’m going to get angry and stick up and fight! I’m not just going to sit there on my ass and let this person harass me or beat the shit out of me until I have an eye missing.

Also, another thing.

I have different sides. I’m not just “happy” or “melancholy” all day. People have various emotions. They come, and they go. I’m generally a nice person. Just because I’m angry for a moment, does not mean that I am cruel. Anger serves a multitude of purposes: calling someone out on their BS, self-defense, sticking up for anyone who can’t defend themselves, and survival. I’m not saying act on your whims. If you’re one of those people who decide that just because someone pissed you off that you’re going to hit that person, you might as well consider yourself no better than a criminal. With the exception of murder, rape, and violence, if I’m angry, I’m going to directly express it to the source of whoever or whatever I’m angry with, and then I’m going to let it go and move on with my life.

Boom. The fight is over, and instead of bottling up your rage, maybe you helped someone become a better person by calling them out on their behavior. After all, no one can expect anyone to become better if nobody gives them the chance to fix themselves by being emotionally honest with them.

I Hate

By Austin B. Hahn

This was a cathartic release and therapeutic for me. Here’s a list of reasons why I hate:

1) People can belittle and ignore you when you’re alive, but they will spend all the time in the world appreciating you and making a biopic of your life when you’re dead.

2) You can do right by people ten times in a row, but they will hold the one time you fuck up against you forever.

3) You can unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings, and that person, out of petty vengeance, can go out of their way to intentionally ruin your life.

4) We’re lied to as children. We’re told, “It’s okay to make mistakes. We all do,” but then we can get a bad credit report, denied a loan, rejected on a job application, or thrown in jail once we do. All this talk about how these consequences are in place to help us “learn” is bullshit because the message is clear: it’s not okay to make mistakes. If the contrary were true, then these harsh punishments would only be reserved for delinquents and not for human beings who happened to make a few errors along the course of their life.

5) Everyone can voice their opinion on social media, but many will sit on their ass and refuse to pursuit a cause or to stick up for someone who’s being physically attacked in a public setting.

6) People attribute their misfortunes to circumstance, but when others experience the same, they’ll blame them for their “laziness.”

7) People want rights for their own group, but they don’t want equality.

8) Once someone is comfortable, they stop giving a fuck and could care less about how their actions affect others.

9) We all start somewhere from the bottom. Status and wealth come and go. We all should respect one another regardless of our social standing, but people seem to forget that once they make it to the top.

10) People live as if they’re never going to die.