Journal Entry #2

By Austin B. Hahn

I love gay men! They are so creative with sex, and they have such a fun attitude about it. Over the years, I have written several ads on Craigslist and on adventurous, but risqué sites such as Adam4Adam. As a tribute to the frivolity, vivacity, and wit of gay men, here are some of my attention-grabbing, yet-oh-so-hard-not-to-respond-to ads.

Adam4Adam:

Headline: Straight up whore!

Alright bitches, let’s be honest: this is Adam4Adam. It’s a hookup site, so l’m not going to deceive you into thinking that I’m looking for “love,” but if you are looking for a good fuck buddy, well then you might want to consider me as a gift from baby Jesus. Although you may not be religious, you might start calling out his name when you meet me. 😉 If you’re interested, hit me up.

Profession: Professional cock sucker

Craigslist (around Christmas time):

Headline: I’ve been a good ho, ho, ho

Dear Santa,

I’ve been very good this year, and I would like you to cum down my chimney, but if I’ve been too good, I can always be naughtier!

Craigslist:

Headline: Wanted: DICK

I have tried calling 1-800-Dick, and they were out. I even tried shopping at Dicks for Less, and they were out too. When I asked the clerk, she told me, “You could try Angie’s List, but she’s miss goody-two-shoes, so I would recommend Craig’s List. He’s a whore.”

Gentlemen, if you know where I could find some, I’m open to suggestions now.

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