By Austin B. Hahn
I love gay men! They are so creative with sex, and they have such a fun attitude about it. Over the years, I have written several ads on Craigslist and on adventurous, but risqué sites such as Adam4Adam. As a tribute to the frivolity, vivacity, and wit of gay men, here are some of my attention-grabbing, yet-oh-so-hard-not-to-respond-to ads.
Headline: Straight up whore!
Alright bitches, let’s be honest: this is Adam4Adam. It’s a hookup site, so l’m not going to deceive you into thinking that I’m looking for “love,” but if you are looking for a good fuck buddy, well then you might want to consider me as a gift from baby Jesus. Although you may not be religious, you might start calling out his name when you meet me. 😉 If you’re interested, hit me up.
Profession: Professional cock sucker
Craigslist (around Christmas time):
Headline: I’ve been a good ho, ho, ho
I’ve been very good this year, and I would like you to cum down my chimney, but if I’ve been too good, I can always be naughtier!
Headline: Wanted: DICK
I have tried calling 1-800-Dick, and they were out. I even tried shopping at Dicks for Less, and they were out too. When I asked the clerk, she told me, “You could try Angie’s List, but she’s miss goody-two-shoes, so I would recommend Craig’s List. He’s a whore.”
Gentlemen, if you know where I could find some, I’m open to suggestions now.