January 23rd, 2015

By Austin B. Hahn

Dear Journal:

Material things create clutter and take up space. I understand that they can be beautiful and comforting, but what’s one person doing in a 22,000 sq. foot home with a grand piano they don’t play and a chandelier of dildos that they are never going to touch? I went to Good Will the other day to donate some of my clothes that I hardly ever wore, (they were too small anyway), and it felt so GOOD to get rid of crap that I won’t need. I felt lighter, freer, and happier. I have gotten rid of a lot over the past six months. I have more space in my room to fuck someone now. (Proud ho!) Whenever I get stuck trying to decide whether I should keep something or not, I ask myself: what’s the purpose of this and is it going to bring me joy? If I can’t stick my dick in it or shove it up my ass, then it’s useless to me.

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